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OH my god I never thought it would happen....

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OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby fishaholictaz » Sat Aug 07, 2010 10:51 am

My wife said I had to throw my fishing gear away or she couldn't live with me. My responce was to say I wouldn't throw it away. She got up at that point and started destroying anything she could find. I lost at least 4 poles and a float tube... One pole wasn't mine and one was very special:-& I am totally at a loss right now:-({|=
A fisherman= A JERK ON ONE END OF A FISHING POLE WAITING FOR A JERK ON THE OTHER!!
Hello, my name is Tim and I am addicted to fishing!
Coming to you from Wyoming!!!
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RE:OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby Amx » Sat Aug 07, 2010 12:06 pm

call the police - domestic violence. then kick her ass out. don't need any female like that!

don't give her another chance, don't except an apology.
Last edited by Anonymous on Sat Aug 07, 2010 12:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RE:OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby rjn cajun » Sat Aug 07, 2010 12:15 pm

Well if your giving it up I`ll buy whatever ya got. The fishing gear not the wife.[-x Sorry to hear that. Don`t know what I would do but I wish you luck.
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RE:OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby Dave » Sat Aug 07, 2010 12:58 pm

That's amazing! I'm not a lawyer but I will comment with the intent to give you some basic information that may be helpful to you.

AMX is correct, in Washington State the crime is called domestic violence mal mis (malicious mischief) which occurs when someone a person is married to, lives with, shares a child with, or is related to, damages the victim/complainant's property. If reported, this may also allow the victim to get a DV move out order from the court which would then once served on the suspect require the suspect to move out taking only their basic personal belongings. This type of order is served by the local law enforcement agency where the incident occurred. These orders like most if not all other orders are temporary until a hearing date (usually within about 3 to 4 weeks depending on the court) at which time both parties can give testimony show evidence and with any luck get the order finalized for one year, usually restricting the suspect from any contact with the victim. I recommend anyone in a situation like this to seek legal advice. Keep in mind that anyone can lie at a DV call so as far as DV assault allegations go, most agencies require some sort of physical evidence of injury to be present to physically arrest someone however a DV criminal case can also be sent to the prosecutor for review and charges can be filed by the prosecutor if he/she believes the elements of the crime are present and the case can be proved in a court of law. Hopefully your wife will calm down and consider what she is demanding and you two can work out a compromise. Communication is key in my opinion and I wish the best for you and your situation.

BTW, I now see that you reside in Wyoming so DV laws may be different there. You may want to seek legal advice before proceeding and you can call your local PD and ask questions to an Officer or Deputy over the phone. If you think you want to take action and involve police, don't wait too long to do so. Good luck.
Last edited by Anonymous on Sun Aug 08, 2010 4:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
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RE:OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby fishaholictaz » Sat Aug 07, 2010 1:05 pm

The police came and no one was cited... It was a mess... I am lost so I am going fishing and if people don't like it [flapper]
A fisherman= A JERK ON ONE END OF A FISHING POLE WAITING FOR A JERK ON THE OTHER!!
Hello, my name is Tim and I am addicted to fishing!
Coming to you from Wyoming!!!
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RE:OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby Dave » Sat Aug 07, 2010 1:15 pm

I'm curious to know what action the police took. Did they give you a case number which would indicate that they would at least write a report? Did they say they were referring a report to the prosecutor? Did they take pictures of the damaged property and did they take written statements from both of you? Did they explain your options on how to proceed? Man I'm sorry to hear this is all unfolding for you. It sucks!
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RE:OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby nickbell » Sat Aug 07, 2010 1:52 pm

Bye bye wife! :cheers: Just my opinion:)
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RE:OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby fishnislife » Sat Aug 07, 2010 2:11 pm

Oh man! Sorry to hear that bro. That really sux. Not just your fishing gear being thrashed but you marraige as well. I know, I know, it is selfish of her to even ask such a thing, but it may be selfish of you to be fishing so much. Seriously though, if it is important to you to make peace and amends then maybe fishing should be put on hold. Or very limited. To me my family is THE most important thing to me and I know if my wife came to me and asked that I not go fishing anymore, there of coarse would be a discussion, but when it comes down to it, she is more important. That thankfully would never happen and I know I would have a tough time restraining myself if she broke my gear.
I put my fishing on hold last year and earlier this year because of our newborn. Now that he is past the year mark he is getting easier to take care of and my wife told me that it would be completely fine if I started getting out a lot more. And she thanked me for my sacrifice of a sport I love to do so much. But it was worth it. And besides, the fish will always be there. I guarantee she wouldn't want you to stop all together, she may just want your attention more or it might just be that time of the month. Sit down and make a deal with her. Tell her you'll cook/clean and have a movie night with her once a week if you can fish on the weekend. Something like that. Give her your time and I'm sure she'd love to give you yours.
Good luck man, I'll be thinking about you guys.





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RE:OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby FishingFool » Sat Aug 07, 2010 2:35 pm

i hope she's super hot with tig ol' bitties.... :-"
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RE:OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby nickbell » Sat Aug 07, 2010 4:26 pm

FishingFool wrote:i hope she's super hot with tig ol' bitties.... :-"
:thumleft: :thumleft:
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RE:OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby tnj8222 » Sat Aug 07, 2010 6:06 pm

FishingFool wrote:i hope she's super hot with tig ol' bitties.... :-"
no kidding. divorce for sure.
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RE:OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby Big D » Sat Aug 07, 2010 8:29 pm

Hey Fishaholictaz ,

Looking for support here at WL.com is a great place to start but remember that you'll get as many different opinions about your situation as you do replies to your original post.
Some have walked the walk and some haven't.
Truly the only person that can tell you when you’ve had enough is you. I am one of those that have walked the walk that you’re now starting and after fifteen years in an absolute hell of a marriage I will simply let you know that it doesn’t have to be that way. For me it took looking deeply at my children to understand how bad it really was. Once I understood that it was easy.
I packed up the kids and moved out.
Long story short…My children are now adults and they love me and we are closer than I ever thought possible.
The X owes me in excess of $50,000 in back child support that I’ll probably never see and that’s fine. No amount of money would be worth the relationship that I have with my three children.
You’re still young and have time on your side…Just don’t wait fifteen years to decide.
Good Luck and keep working on your dreams (School)
Last edited by Anonymous on Tue Aug 10, 2010 11:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RE:OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby BassinBomber » Sat Aug 07, 2010 8:37 pm

Sorry 2 read you're having issues TAZ,..time 2 take inventory and make a descision,..hope it works out for you!

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RE:OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby Mike Carey » Sat Aug 07, 2010 9:08 pm

tough situation, good luck however it turns out. You know you have online friends here to give you support or whatever you need to get through this crisis.
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RE:OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby Marc Martyn » Sat Aug 07, 2010 9:15 pm

Taz, I was looking through your Photobucket album. You have some wonderful children. They are the most important. Fishing is way down the list compared to those boys. Jeremiah has a very valid point.
Times are very difficult these days and it is very hard on everyone. Your wife may be expressing frustration that may be related to something else in your lives. Don't be quick to run to court. If you do, you may end up with more broken items in your home, your children's hearts. Put the fishing aside for a bit and get to the root of the problem and try to work things out.:)
Last edited by Anonymous on Sat Aug 07, 2010 9:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RE:OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby fishaholictaz » Sun Aug 08, 2010 12:05 am

I went on a last trip tonight... I just got back from when I made my last post. (no REAL fish#-o ) But anyway I have decided to put fishing on hold and work on my marrige and my college degree. Both of these things are truely more important!!! I sent my gear home with the friend that I fish with. I am not going to bring up fishing but if I find myself not going for a WHILE I may need to see about moving on. :pale:

The responces all were very helpful and ment a lot to me:salut:
Last edited by Anonymous on Sun Aug 08, 2010 12:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
A fisherman= A JERK ON ONE END OF A FISHING POLE WAITING FOR A JERK ON THE OTHER!!
Hello, my name is Tim and I am addicted to fishing!
Coming to you from Wyoming!!!
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RE:OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby fishaholictaz » Sun Aug 08, 2010 12:12 am

Dave wrote:I'm curious to know what action the police took. Did they give you a case number which would indicate that they would at least write a report? Did they say they were referring a report to the prosecutor? Did they take pictures of the damaged property and did they take written statements from both of you? Did they explain your options on how to proceed? Man I'm sorry to hear this is all unfolding for you. It sucks!


I did not recieve a case number... The officers took everyones statement and told me the only charge they could find was when my wife hit me with my fishing bag and asked if I wanted to press charges.(I declined) But they did not care about the damaged property. I think there was a report but I was told no one was being charged...
A fisherman= A JERK ON ONE END OF A FISHING POLE WAITING FOR A JERK ON THE OTHER!!
Hello, my name is Tim and I am addicted to fishing!
Coming to you from Wyoming!!!
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RE:OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby Dave » Sun Aug 08, 2010 4:58 am

Well Taz,

Good to hear that you have made a decision to make every effort you can to keep your marriage together. At least now, over time, you will learn whether your fishing was truly the issue your wife had and you can go from there.

I think we as married folks owe our marriages every effort we can give to make it work out. I’m not sure demanding your spouse to completely give up something they love is fair, in fact I think it’s a bit selfish but it happens and it puts people in a difficult position. Asking someone to choose, or else, likely means that that person is at their wits end, the big question is why?

Sometimes a good marriage counselor can help a couple get to the root of a problem which can then be worked through. Just a thought. I know that communication is a very important element in any relationship so I would encourage you to talk often, be honest with each other, and work the problem.

Good luck to you and remember, your fishing days are far from over.
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RE:OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby hewesfisher » Sun Aug 08, 2010 5:36 am

Dave wrote:I think we as married folks owe our marriages every effort we can give to make it work out. I’m not sure demanding your spouse to completely give up something they love is fair, in fact I think it’s a bit selfish but it happens and it puts people in a difficult position. Asking someone to choose, or else, likely means that that person is at their wits end, the big question is why?

Good point Dave, and the others that have made the same, but my first thought is what happened to get to that point? What caused Taz's wife to make those demands? Like you said, the big question is why? On the surface, it sounds like too much time wetting a line, but we aren't there to know.

Successful marriages take work, commitment, cooperation, and communication. They aren't all fun and roses, sometimes, they get pretty bleak. There are other factors I believe make a marriage work, like faith, but they are personal choices.

I believe you're making the right choice by putting fishing on hold for awhile, at least until you get the root cause of the issues worked out. Work through the problems, it will make your relationship, and marriage, stronger. You'll know whether things are going to work out for the best, if you find there's no hope, well, there is an out. [sad]

Best wishes.
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RE:OH my god I never thought it would happen....

Postby racfish » Sun Aug 08, 2010 7:21 am

My fishing has been on hold 2 years now with minimal outings till I get my mess figured out as well. Like bikeriding you wont forget how.I have been suffering a loss and I say the heck with fishing for now. I want my kid back. My efforts are working on him for his return. JMO.The beauty of change is that we all can do it.
When youre up to your rear end in alligators,its hard to remember that the initial plan was to drain the swamp.
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