OH my god I never thought it would happen....

[Bodofish]

Taz,
In my opinion, any person with that little regard for you and your things needs to be on the X list. Period! It will only get worse. She is trying control and exert dominance over you. That is not a partnership or marriage. At the very least, she needs some in depth counseling and then when her issues are corralled maybe some family counseling but I suspect that when she gets herself in line, that family will follow. I've been there, endured the abuse "for the kids" and I'm glad to say everyone came out the better because I excised the problem. All the kids are grown and love their mother but know her for who she is. In addition the Ex has had to grow a lot too and become a much better person in the end.

[Marc Martyn]

I sent my gear home with the friend that I fish with.

Taz, ask your wife how she likes Laramie, WY, where the wind always blows, it snows sideways six months out of the year, you have ground squirrels making nests in your dryer vents and rattlesnakes are everywhere.

From what I gather, you are basically on TDY (temporary duty), going to school at the U of Wyoming. Is she away from her home and her family? Anyone who has been in the service and married can relate to her being homesick and wanting to go back home where her family is. She may hate it there and find it upsetting that you are having so much fun fishing for those huge brown trout and she is home taking care of the kids. You are also in construction, which all of us know is way down. Financially, this could be a very big burden.

You don't need to quit fishing all together. Spend more time with the family doing things they want to do until you can get through the years at school and "away from home". I've been to Laramie and unless you are an avid historian or sportsman, there really isn't that much to offer.

Try to make some new family adjustments in your activities. After all, she went with you, to what she may refer to as "this Godforesaken country"......

[saltyseadog]

dont be selfish and think of you family

[tmusky1]

It sounds to me like you either married a 5 year old and/or a psycho. I know you're upset about this and I really don't want

to be disrespectful but, DUDE, what adult behaves like that??

I'm reading all these responses like, "Don't be selfish", "Cut down on the fishing time", and "Maybe you moved her away

from her family" and maybe for a normal person those might be all reasonable reasons and responses but for an adult that

throws temper tantrums like that, the first step would be to get her some serious mental help.

[Bodofish]

Got that right!

[sickbayer]

It sounds to me like you either married a 5 year old and/or a psycho. I know you're upset about this and I really don't want

to be disrespectful but, DUDE, what adult behaves like that??

I'm reading all these responses like, "Don't be selfish", "Cut down on the fishing time", and "Maybe you moved her away

from her family" and maybe for a normal person those might be all reasonable reasons and responses but for an adult that

throws temper tantrums like that, the first step would be to get her some serious mental help.

LMFAO that was the first thing i thought but then the counselor response's flooded in.

[Amx]

Well, don't do this;

http://www.komonews.com/news/local/100232139.html

[jens]

Sorry Taz. If you ever get back to WA, let's go hit up Offut.

[kcc]

Well I dont condone the damage your wife did, but I think there might be some underlying issues here. I think trying to figure that out should be your 1st priority. You should not have to give up fishing but maybe try to cut back and become more involved with your wife. Does she fish? Your previous posts show you fishing with your kids so it dosent seem like you are putting all the child rearing on her. I would recomend a doctor appt for her, being female myself, there are a whole slew of things that could be going on and busting your stuff seems way too excessive. Good luck.

[Dustin07]

breaking fishing poles not really a big deal. she's venting. it sucks but everyone needs to vent somehow from time to time. You might buy some really cheap rods and give them to her in advance and tell her next time to break those instead. I know my wife would laugh if I did that... LOL

family comes first. then school. then fishing. I'm in a similar boat, there hasn't not been as much fishing as usual for me this year, but there will be lots of fishing over the next 60-80 years. for now, kid, wife, school.

Well, don't do this]http://board.moparts.org/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eeek.gif[/img]

http://www.komonews.com/news/local/100232139.html

LOL I saw that in the news the other day and sent it to my wife. I asked her if she still thought my tractor was sexy.

[Bodofish]

Yes it's all very easy to say “family comes first”. Those espousing it have obviously have never been involved in an abusive relationship.

It starts out with venting or something like it. It then begins to escalate when the newly learned behavior is allowed to continue. So far she's learned it's ok to do things like that because she was not taken to jail or reprimanded, there was no consequence to her action. You’ve allowed it to continue. Domestic violence is not just men hitting women. Many of us were taught at an early age, you just don't hit women no matter what and we are much, much stronger and bigger than they are. The converse is one of those things that never seems to get passed along. She needs to get that temper under control and get some counseling. That is thinking of the family.

You'd better start sleeping with one eye open and don't turn your back on her. You probably won't see the next one coming.

The kids are not better off living with parents that are in a bad relationship. It starts there and the kids learn that behavior too. It’s where the cycle begins. Growing up in a dysfunctional family is not good for the kids. Don’t delude yourself.

If you cow down to her on this one its over bud. You might as well just put yours in a jar and hand them over to her cause you're gonna be squat'in to pee from here on out. You’ll be a cowering whipping boy the rest of your life. You could be sitting at home drinking and resenting the fact you're not fishing. I don’t need to tell you, you know where that leads.

I know most of you think “Oh that Bodo, he’s just a jack ass that doesn’t know what he’s talking about”. Wrong, I’ve been through it from the start to the finish, all the counseling on both sides for many years. I’ve never raised a hand at a woman nor am I about to start but I have been the recipient of many flying plates, rocks, cord wood, anything that was handy. I thought it was funny at first and laughed it off and thought I could make it better by turning my back and just ‘”being good to her”. Not a good plan, she’s sick. Before long it was first hand contact with garden tools then knives from the kitchen. The final straw was getting clocked with a cast iron skillet from behind in my sleep. I finally learned you can’t make another person happy no matter what you do or want. It just is not going to happen, don’t try. Happiness is something that has to come from within. When I went through this it didn’t matter who did what, it was the man that was going to jail and it was the man that was going to lose in family court, no matter who was wrong or at fault. It was a tough uphill battle all the way. My kids and I made it and they’re good strong loving adults with families of their own now.

At this point she's not a happy person and she resents you being happy. She’ll do whatever she can get away with to drag you down too. She needs to come to terms with herself (probably through counseling). That is what’s good for the family. There is no excuse for violent outbursts. Period!

Good luck and keep a close eye out.

[fishaholictaz]

Bodo I know what you are saying all too well:-"

[Rob G.]

Fishnislife put it best in his response.....I couldn't have put it any better. Anybody who trashes your wife after only hearing about an isolated incident is NOT YOUR FRIEND! Anybody who is not married, or does not have kids and in a working relationship with that mother of their kids offering you MARRIAGE advice should SHUT UP! That would be like me asking my landscaper to do my taxes....

Bro...there are things in life worth fighting for, your family is one of them. It may feel good to vent, and maybe your wife is being completely unrealistic...but I guarantee you she didn't get that way over night.....as someone who counsels people, I would challenge you to get some counseling, find out what your real prioritie are and fight for your relationship with your WOMAN! I love fishin' as much as the next guy.....but not more than family. Do the right thing bro.....fight for what's right....

[sickbayer]

Fishnislife put it best in his response.....I couldn't have put it any better. Anybody who trashes your wife after only hearing about an isolated incident is NOT YOUR FRIEND! Anybody who is not married, or does not have kids and in a working relationship with that mother of their kids offering you MARRIAGE advice should SHUT UP! That would be like me asking my landscaper to do my taxes....

Bro...there are things in life worth fighting for, your family is one of them. It may feel good to vent, and maybe your wife is being completely unrealistic...but I guarantee you she didn't get that way over night.....as someone who counsels people, I would challenge you to get some counseling, find out what your real prioritie are and fight for your relationship with your WOMAN! I love fishin' as much as the next guy.....but not more than family. Do the right thing bro.....fight for what's right....

Biggest load of crap ever ...
it is not an isloated incident., if it was then move out asap.! stranges on a forum can be unbiased in theire views as they dont know either party, not being married doest exclude violent behaviour either. What do you know about your landscapers background...I am a pile driver but my back ground is social work...



Well this is all well and true but people change, personally ive know 3 couples in which one of the have chemical inbalances boy if that is the relationship you want, go for it. But at the end of the day you never have to put up with people who are abusive to you period! move out and move on.

[Mike Carey]

one thing is for sure, no matter what opinion you may have on this situation, we are all lacking in the specifics to be making accurate assessments. And personally, I don't think those kind of intimate details between two people are appropriate on a public forum anyway. Even if it is off-topic.

[Rob G.]

*Sigh*...I agree with Mike. Sickbayer...agree to disagree.

[kzoo]

What ever the outcome Taz, hope you stay with the site. We've always respected you for moving out of state and still contributing on this site. Hope things go well man.

[AJ's Dad]

I know this topic has been off the active list for a long time but I just stumbled acrossed it. Too funny. I hope you worked things out with her Taz and everything is all good now but if you're still dealing with this issue. Here ya go. Play this for her. http://www.cmt.com/videos/brad-paisley/ ... -her.jhtml

I love my wife to death but if she started busting up my fishing gear, she better be able to slip a punch and bob and weave cause it would be "Game On" Good luck man!

[racfish]

You know what Taz...If you truly love her then Id throw my stuff out too. Maybe not all but a compromise would work. Be happy you got a good woman. Im not sure the reasons behind it all ,but we all have to make adjustments in our lives to suit our other halves.If its a marrige worth saving then save it. There are always fish but you wont always find a good wife. JMO.... If its worth saving then save the marrige. If not go seperate ways. As far as busting gear up ,thats uncalled for. But then again we only hear one side of this equation. Good luck bro what ever happens.